It's Not My First Time

Welcome to Learning Healthy Habits!  Do you like it?  I hope so.  I would like to start off my blogging experience with some brutal honesty. 

First of all, this isn’t my first time experimenting with blogging.  In fact, this is my fourth attempt!  I started with some Wordpress blogs, the most popular of which was a little blog called The Habit of Healthy.  Unfortunately this blog no longer exists because in a moment of sheer madness I permanently deleted it.  The reason why is very simple - in the world of ‘healthy living’ blogs I felt like I was drowning in a sea of inadequacy.  I wanted people to like my blog and listen to what I had to say but at the same time I felt like a fraud.  The truth is that although I am absolutely passionate about being healthy, I think my version of healthy is probably different to other peoples.  I translated this to mean that I wasn’t actually healthy but now I have come to realise that in order for a healthy lifestyle to stick, it has to be a way of living that you are personally comfortable with and can maintain for the long term.  Health is inclusive and is available to everyone; it is not exclusive, available only to those with the most money to spend in specialist health food stores and it is certainly not a competition to see who can find the most ‘healthy’ or unique ingredients to showcase on the blog.  My version of healthy may be different to yours but you know what?  That is absolutely fine.

My second dose of honesty comes in the form of a body image confession.  It is hard for me to admit this but I am not happy with my weight.  I have really tried to embrace my shape and size but it is just too hard.  My BMI is currently 21.5, which although is right in the middle of the healthy weight range, is just not comfortable for me.  I feel better about myself with a BMI of around 20, which is still a very healthy weight and size.  My body image crisis is not helped by the fact that for the past year I have only been able to wear about 40% of the clothes in my wardrobe.  This is infuriating as I have some cute outfits (well, cuter than what I have been wearing!) that I would love to wear but just can’t fit into.  As much as I tried to resist this in the past, I think I am going to have to get real and try to ditch the few pounds that are weighing me down.  To be honest, I think the only reason that I have this ‘extra’ weight is because I still have one unhealthy habit lurking from my past that I haven’t quite been able to kick – I still overeat.

I have a history of binge eating (my next post will be a complete history of my eating so far – thrilling!) and although I have 100% kicked this habit - all on my own without an ounce of therapy or help from anyone else, which I am actually really proud of - I still have some demons which lead me to overeat.  It’s not binging but it is still eating too much.  I really think that if I can work hard to get rid of this habit then I will automatically lose the few pounds that are making me uncomfortable.  It will also represent the end of my journey of food issues and the start of a truly healthy relationship with food, which is ultimately where I aim to be.  Being healthy is not just about what you eat and what you do, but it is also about your relationship with food and exercise. 

I am not entirely sure of the direction that this blog will take but I aim to always be honest.  Trying to be healthy in an unhealthy world is not easy and I may as well share not only the ‘ups’ but also the ‘downs’.  Nobody is perfect and nobody needs to be – I hope my blog will reflect this and show that being healthy is accessible to anyone.